exit through the gift shop

welcome to our side hustle.

we hate the phrase. and this really isn’t that.

there are things we fall in love with.

silly in-jokes. things that annoy one of us.

art we’ve created. a product we’ve reworked and branded.

or a strange mix of all of the above.

this is a place where we sell some of those pieces of us.

if you like us, chances are a product here will catch your fancy too.

when that happens, you can take it home.

and a small part of us will become a small part of you.

(and we will get a lot of $$$ for selling you junk.)

note:
don’t buy this crap yet. we are still figuring this out. duh!


buykino

rude iphone cases (when resting-bitch-face isn't enough)
Sale Price:$98.00 Original Price:$99.00
sale
Add To Cart
totally "organic" and "eco-friendly" tote bag
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
hoodie 1 (why would you pay so much to wear our logo?)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
stupid cap thing (yes, you look stupid in it)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
tee-shirt (look like a bomkino delivery boy)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
custom earpods (why not pay even more for an already overpriced pair of mediocre earphones?)
Sale Price:$998.00 Original Price:$999.00
sale
Add To Cart
pretentious berlin socks (look at my feet, i'm artistic)
$99.00
Add To Cart
"creative" socks (when you don't have a personality)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
sucky socks (your feet smell, now they'll look ugly too)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
quick notes, motherfucker (set of three)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
pretentious calendars (why do you even need one of these?)
Sale Price:$99.98 Original Price:$99.99
sale
Add To Cart
snarky hoodie (face it: it'll never be cold enough to wear this)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
rejected hoodies with our rejected logos
Sale Price:$998.00 Original Price:$999.00
sale
Add To Cart
pure tap water (repackaged, overpriced)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
wine (numbs your unresolved daddy issues for an hour)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
mac book sleeve (needlessly expensive cover for a needlessly expensive mac-book)
$999.99
Add To Cart
stickers (vandalize public property with our logo)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
death sticks (global warming is going to kill us either way)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
tin box (hide away your maal and crippling addiction)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
gift card (when you too lazy to pick a meaningful gift)
from $999.00
Purchase
pillow (more uncomfortable than ugly)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
pollution mask (now add visual pollution to your city)
Sale Price:$99,999.98 Original Price:$99,999.99
sale
Add To Cart
fancy japanese tape (looks good; sucks otherwise)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
badges (poke yourself while trying to pin it)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
lighter (you will lose this in two days)
Sale Price:$99.98 Original Price:$99.99
sale
Add To Cart
roadies (pay us money, we'll send you a funny video)
Sale Price:$999.98 Original Price:$999.99
sale
Add To Cart
services (pay us money, and we'll do stuff for you)
Sale Price:$9,999.98 Original Price:$9,999.99
sale
Add To Cart

 and now, for no real reason,
here’s a sexy-creepy-soviet mannequin
looking at you all sexily and creepily
and communistily and mannequinily.